Imagine sitting across from a leader in a bright, inviting conference room. The leader makes eye contact, communicating that they are fully present. They genuinely listen without judgment, showing a willingness to understand. In that moment, you realize they see you—not just as an employee but as someone with ideas, struggles, and potential. This type of connection can fundamentally shift the dynamics of a workplace, transforming it from a purely transactional space into one that fosters genuine human connection and development.

Unconditional positive regard (UPR) is about extending genuine acceptance to others, irrespective of their behavior or performance. In leadership, this means valuing growth over perfection and ensuring unconditional respect. This approach can be a game-changer in today’s competitive work environment, where employees often crave validation, safety, and the opportunity to grow beyond their current limitations.

What Is Unconditional Positive Regard?

Unconditional positive regard (UPR) is a psychology concept popularized by Carl Rogers that refers to offering acceptance without contingencies. In the workplace, UPR means extending acceptance and empathy to your team members, even when they make mistakes or push back. It’s about seeing everyone as worthy of respect, belonging, and growth. UPR means providing a foundation of support that says, "No matter what, I’m here for you as a human being."

For leaders, this means that even when mistakes happen, the individual still deserves support. This approach creates an environment that encourages growth and engagement. When employees feel supported unconditionally, they are more likely to take creative risks that lead to organizational innovation and improvement.

Examples of UPR in Action

I recall an experience early in my career; I remember managing a team member named Jordan, who frequently missed deadlines and seemed disengaged. Initially, I felt frustrated, but I decided to sit down and talk with her. Jordan was dealing with a difficult situation at home, which she had not felt comfortable sharing. By offering empathy and working together on a flexible plan, her performance improved, and she became one of the most committed members of the team. This experience showed me that understanding and support foster steadfast commitment and trust.

Research supports this. In a study by Smith (2019), the author found that leaders who practice empathy saw significantly increased team engagement levels. This demonstrates that empathy directly impacts motivation and commitment, which leads to better performance and more vital team dynamics. In their research on self-determination theory, Deci and Ryan (2000) found that offering flexibility and support during challenging times significantly improves job satisfaction and performance. Their study highlights the importance of meeting basic human needs—such as autonomy, competence, and relatedness—which, when fulfilled, foster higher motivation and job performance.

Moreover, Edmondson (2018) discusses psychological safety in the workplace, where employees feel comfortable being themselves without fear of negative consequences. Psychological safety is intrinsically linked to UPR. When leaders create environments that support this, employees are more likely to speak up, share ideas, and contribute to collective problem-solving. This kind of open communication is a hallmark of highly functioning teams.

When UPR Feels Impossible

There will be times when practicing UPR feels almost impossible. Maybe you don’t click with someone, or their behavior consistently frustrates you. I once worked with another colleague—let's call them Taylor—who seemed to push my buttons. It wasn’t anything overt, but their demeanor and approach made it difficult for me to offer them the benefit of the doubt.

Instead of letting my frustration affect my actions, I took time for self-reflection. I leaned into my core values—empathy, fairness, and respect—and focused on addressing behavior rather than making it personal. Slowly, I began to appreciate Taylor's strengths, and while we never became close, we developed a productive working relationship.

UPR challenges leaders to focus on the bigger picture of fostering an environment where growth is possible. It’s not about liking everyone; it’s about valuing each person's potential despite their discomfort. This approach can lead to unexpected transformations—not just in those you lead but within yourself.

Dweck’s (2016) work on the growth mindset is crucial here. Leaders who embody a growth mindset are more likely to view their team members' challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable problems. This shift in perspective can help leaders practice UPR even when it feels uncomfortable, making them more effective in supporting their team's long-term development.

Practical Tips for Leading with UPR

1. Acknowledge Your Bias: Recognize any biases or discomfort you have toward someone. It’s natural, but acknowledging these feelings helps prevent them from affecting your behavior.

2. Focus on Behaviors, Not Personality: Separate the actions you want to address from judgments about someone's character. This keeps conversations productive and constructive.

3. Reframe Negative Interactions: View challenging behaviors as an expression of unmet needs or stress rather than a personal attack. This makes it easier to respond with empathy.

4. Practice Compassionate Detachment: When offering warmth feels difficult, aim for neutral professionalism. You don’t need to be friends with every team member, but you can commit to treating them fairly and being supportive.

5. Lean on Your Core Values: Respect, empathy, and fairness should be your guiding principles. When emotions run high, these values can anchor your decisions and behaviors.

6. Adopt a Growth Mindset: Follow Dweck’s (2016) growth mindset philosophy. View every challenge as a chance for growth for your team and yourself. This mindset will help you approach every interaction as an opportunity to learn and improve.

Practical Tips for Employees: How to Foster Positive Relationships with Your Leaders

1. Communicate Openly: Don’t assume your leader knows your needs. Be proactive in sharing your work preferences, boundaries, and any challenges you are facing. Leaders can only support you if they are aware of your circumstances.

2. Give the Benefit of the Doubt: Understand that leaders are human too—they may have blind spots or stressors you aren’t aware of. Approach misunderstandings with curiosity rather than blame, and ask questions to clarify their perspective.

3. Provide Constructive Feedback: If there’s a way your leader can better support you, communicate it clearly and constructively. Use “I” statements like, “I feel more productive when we have clear weekly check-ins.” This type of feedback helps your leader understand what works for you.

4. Set Boundaries and Share Them: Let your leader know if personal or work boundaries are essential for your well-being. Most leaders respect boundaries more when they are clearly articulated rather than assumed.

5. Show Empathy: Just as leaders should extend empathy to their team, employees can extend empathy to their leaders. Understand that leadership involves pressure and challenges. Building a two-way street of respect and understanding creates a more cohesive and supportive environment.

6. Understand Your Leader’s Perspective: Recognize that your leader is also navigating various responsibilities and pressures. Ask questions to understand what drives their decisions, and offer your support when appropriate. A leader who feels supported is more likely to reciprocate that support.

UPR and Employee Engagement: The Science Behind It

Kahn's (1990) foundational research on psychological safety showed that environments where individuals feel safe to take risks and make mistakes lead to increased engagement and creativity. The study emphasized that when employees feel secure in expressing themselves without fear of judgment, their engagement and innovative contributions rise significantly. Psychological safety is built on the foundation of unconditional positive regard. It allows people to feel seen, even in vulnerable moments. Deci and Ryan’s (2000) work on self-determination theory demonstrates that fulfilling the needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness leads to better motivation and overall performance.

According to Cameron and Quinn (2011), workplaces emphasizing core values such as empathy and growth experience higher employee satisfaction and lower turnover rates. Their research underlines the idea that fostering a supportive culture benefits individual well-being and contributes to overall organizational stability and success. When people know their leaders see them as more than their output, everything changes—from their willingness to innovate to their overall job satisfaction.

Conclusion: The Transformative Impact of UPR

Leading with unconditional positive regard isn’t easy. It requires patience, vulnerability, and an unwavering belief in people’s potential—even when they aren’t at their best. But it’s worth it. When employees feel seen, accepted, and valued beyond their productivity metrics, they feel safe enough to take the risks that lead to real growth.

At the same time, employees can play an essential role by communicating their needs, extending empathy to their leaders, and being open about their boundaries. Creating a culture of unconditional positive regard is a two-way effort. When both sides invest in understanding and supporting each other, the potential for growth and engagement is limitless.

Next time you encounter a difficult interaction, take a step back and offer empathy. Remember that person’s humanity. Unconditional positive regard is about creating the right environment for growth without judgment.

Take Action: Foster Unconditional Leadership in Your Organization

Ready to foster this kind of leadership within your organization? I offer leadership coaching, tailored workshops, and solution-focused discovery sessions to help unlock your team's full potential. Let’s schedule a discovery call to explore how we can bring positive, sustainable change to your workplace.

Contact me today to build a culture where every team member can thrive.

References

- Cameron, K. S., & Quinn, R. E. (2011). Diagnosing and Changing Organizational Culture: Based on the Competing Values Framework.

- Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "What" and "Why" of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior. Psychological Inquiry.

- Edmondson, A. C. (2018). The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth.

- Goleman, D., Boyatzis, R., & McKee, A. (2013). Primal Leadership: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence.

- Dweck, C. S. (2016). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

- Kahn, W. A. (1990). Psychological Conditions of Personal Engagement and Disengagement at Work. Academy of Management Journal.

- Smith, R. (2019). Empathy and Employee Engagement: The Role of Managerial Support. Journal of Applied Psychology.